Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritative parenting is characterized by reasonable demand and high responsiveness thus it sets to balance the high parental demands with emotional responsiveness and recognition of the child’s independence to make decisions.

This type of parenting is widely considered to be the most efficient and beneficial parenting style for normal children since it creates the healthiest environment for children to grow. It also strengthens the bond between the parents and the children.

Parents who adopt the authoritative parenting style clearly and regularly communicate expectations and the potential consequences. This creates an environment that offers the child security and confidence which are the key factors that contribute to the child’s self-esteem.

The important trait that one can emulate from the authoritative parenting style is the open communication with the child.  Open communication means that the parent has the ability to speak with their child without judging or scolding them. This allows the parent to have insight into the child’s life enabling you to understand your child better.

From most research carried out it has been proven that a child of authoritative parents, in most cases, performs well in school, avoids problem behaviors and develops good social skills.

The outstanding features of this style of parenting style include; expectations of age-appropriate behavior, clear standard, rules and limits, consistent and fair, maturity and independence and explained punishments. You can get more features from Talking To Toddlers.

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Characteristics of Authoritative Parenting Style

Demanding Yet Responsive

Authoritative parents set clear expectations which they require their children to meet. Although they have high expectations, they ensure they are adhered by supporting and understanding their children.

Communication plays a great part in making sure that the children are working towards the set goals.   These parents are responsive to any problem or difficulties that the child faces and will offer full support to overcome it.

The set rules provide a structure that gives the child room to explore and gain confidence. The child will feel a sense of empowerment since there is a balance between choice and responsibility.

The Parent Listens to the Child

This parenting style encourages communication. Thus as the parent sets the rules the child is able to understand why they have to follow them. The parent will listen to the child argument although he/she does not have to change their mind.

Authoritative parents allow their children to have a voice in what happens to their lives which play a major role in the self-confidence of the child.  By listening to your child, the child perceives that his/her parents are open and sensitive to their needs.

Encourages Independence

An authoritative parent has great confidence in their child. They believe that they have raised positive minded children who can handle a task given to them in the right manner.

They are also available to assist whenever the child needs help, but they always advocate for the persistence of the child to solve a problem before they get involved. As a result, the child becomes self-reliant and will not shy off from requesting for assistance.

Place Limits, Consequences, and Expectations

Authoritative parents expect their children to meet the set rules and expectations while also being willing to reason and are flexible with the child when the set standards are not met or when they make a mistake. The parent will ensure that the child knows what the consequences for not attaining the expectations are.

Positive consequences are used to encourage good behavior and include rewards such as; candy, extra play time or gifts. The creation of a reward system helps in the shaping of your child’s behavior. The negative consequences, on the other hand, are used to prevent and decrease unwanted behavior.

Criticize and Praise

An authoritative parent will not hesitate from pointing out a mistake even if it will upset the child. If the parents realize that something is wrong or the child want to do something that they don’t approve of, they will let the child know that what they are doing is not right and show them the right alternative. If the child is still hesitant, the parent can choose to punish them.

It is the role of a parent to parent their child, and although they may criticize the wrong doings, they still do it with love and not scolding the child. They will let the child know that they are getting punished for doing the wrong thing. An authoritative parent will also praise the child whenever they achieve or do the right thing. By complimenting your child, you motivate them to be better.

Children love to see their parents happy, and whenever you realize that your child has added an effort in doing something better, it is always right to compliment them. Give them presents, take them out, buy new toys, just do anything that will make them feel appreciated.

Spends Time with the Children

An authoritative parent will ensure that they are not too busy for their children. Children always look up to their parents as their role models, and when the role model is hardly available, they will feel neglected and unwanted which leads to the development of rebellious traits.

As a parent, you should ensure to spare time and spend it with your children. This will allow you to monitor what they are doing and get to know them better. The more you are available, the more confident they will feel to tell you things that bother them or share their excitement with you.

Your presence will give your child the security. Although it may be difficult to always be with your kids you can try and be with them during the weekends. You can also plan on family vacations where you get to spend time with only your family. Your child will feel loved and motivated.

They are Consistent

Authoritative parents are consistent. They are always there whenever their child needs assistance and never hold back from disciplining their child when they fail to meet the set expectations. An authoritative parent always champions the child to be a better person every day.

If they realize that the child is not good at a particular subject, they will assist the child to change the attitude toward the subject, and still compliment them for the effort. An authoritative will never give up on the child; they are always positive that their child has great potential.

Involved and Understanding

Authoritative parents are always there for their child and never want to miss any of their child’s progress. They make an effort of attending all their children’s school events. They are always striving to encourage their children to explore their talents and abilities.

They also help their child with their homework and other activities which give them the opportunity to identify their children’s weaknesses and strengths.

Whenever a child does not attain a certain expectation, an authoritative parent will seek to understand the reason why and try to reason with the child on what could have contributed to the failure.

Factors That Set Authoritative Parenting Style Apart From Other Parenting Styles

There are various factors that make authoritative parenting style to more effective and better than other parenting methods. The major factors are the positive results obtained from the use of this method.

For instance, authoritative parents are more communicative and warmer than authoritarian parents. The authoritative parents will listen to their child and keep an open communication which allows the children to understand why they have to follow the set rules.

On the other hand, the authoritarian will set the rules which must be followed with no bargain. Unlike the authoritarian, the authoritative parents utilize some degree of flexibility which creates an encouraging environment for their children.

Moreover, the authoritative parents are more demanding and more responsive. They require the children to abide by the rules but offer enough room for the children to make their own decisions and will always listen to their children’s ideas.

This is contrary to the permissive parents who due to fear of irritating or annoying the children, they give them more freedom and hardly sets any consistent rules. Permissive parents are too much responsive that they are demanding which make the children feel more entitled to privileges and material goods.

Unlike the uninvolved parents who hardly take the time to be with their children and never take concern of their well being, the authoritative parents are highly involved in their children growth and well-being.  They are determined to identify the weakness and the strengths of their children while trying to championing them to become better individuals.

Basing on the ideas discussed above, it is clear that the authoritative parenting style stands out from the other parenting methods. The Authoritative style creates the healthiest environment for growing children and creates a strong and productive relationship between the parents and the children.

You can learn more about other parenting styles such as permissive, authoritarian and the uninvolved from Talking To Toddlers.

The Effects of Authoritative Parenting on the Children

The authoritative parenting style is the most recommendable parenting method since the children are involved, and they have the option to express their ideas. The parents are also willing to listen to them which give the child the opportunity to learn how to negotiate and have self-esteem.

Some of the outstanding qualities that characterize children from authoritative parents include:

  • They have self-confidence and work independently without having to be monitored
  • They have excellent negotiations skills
  • They are social with other people
  • They are happy and friendly
  • Their academic performance is incredible
  • They are good learners and speakers
  • Have mental and emotional balance
  • They have the confidence to try new things

Pros and Cons of Authoritative Parenting Method


  • Positive Disciplining

Parents do not strictly depend on punishments when a child deviates from the set rules. They have the ability to find other alternatives such as advising the child on the recommendable behavior and listening to the child’s explanation of why the failed to the right thing. Punishments such as reduced play time and having no television are also incorporated.

  • Motivation to Performance

The parents encourage their child to be better each day. They give compliments and praise whenever the child does something right or improves in doing something. Since the parents are the role models of the child, the child will strive to please them.

  • Happy Family

The authoritative method creates an environment where the child feels that their ideas are listened to and can request for assistance when in a difficult situation without being judged. Moreover, the parents always create more time for their children which allow them to bond more creating a united family.

  • Motivation to Perform

Encouraging parents allows the children to work hard and get better results. Whenever a child struggles to perform well in one subject an authoritative parent will congratulate the child for the effort and encourage them to change their attitude towards the subject which allows them to perform better.

  • Good Performance in School

For a child to perform better, it all starts with the environment they come from. If a child comes from a home full of positivity, then they will tag it along to school and will be motivated to work hard. They will also have the confidence and enthusiasm to get to know new things.

  • Choose to obey more out of respect and not out of fear of punishment

Children from authoritative homes are well disciplined since they understand that it’s the right thing to do. However, children with authoritarian parents tend to obey due to fear of the harsh punishments.

An authoritative parent will instill discipline and values to their child while authoritarian instills fear which is not good for the child’s self-esteem.


  • Can Turn to Be Difficult When Faced With a Stubborn Child

A stubborn child might require more rules and punishments since they may turn to be hard headed when allowed to do what they want.

  • Requires Periodic Review and Refinement

As the children grow the rules are bound to change, and the parents need to be aware that they need to modify the rules regularly. Some of the rules may be turn out to be irrelevant as their age increases.

  • Additional Burden on Parents

Parents may be forced to make rules for every situation which may be tedious since they have to consult with the children. Decision-making process is also lengthy and time-consuming which can burden the parents

  • Heavy Dependence

The consistent reference to the rules may end up being the only option which makes them more dependent on the rules.

  • The Children Can Become Rebellious

Having to consult with the children before any decision and when setting the rules may make them feel more in power which can lead to them becoming unruly. They could also become so over-confidence.


In conclusion, for parents looking to adopt this parenting method, it is important to note that it will require you to be more dedicated and in some cases, you will have to adjust some ideas and attitudes of your own parenting ideas.

Nevertheless, this parenting style will provide an environment that allows your children to become dependent and confident young adults. Children with an authoritative background grow up to have better psychological traits. They also feel empowered since they will have the ability to balance between choice and responsibility.

Research carried out articulate that authoritative parenting style allows the children to secure attachments with their parents and also increases the emotional bond between them. Authoritative parenting results from a balance of high expectations and effective balance of loving.

This method is bound to work since the authoritative parents act as role models and the children are obliged to do the right thing so as please them. The consistent rules allow the children to know what’s expected of them.

In addition, since the parents demonstrate understanding and control, the children will also learn to control their emotions and learn to appreciate and understand other people.

Authoritative parents listen to their children’s ideas and give them a chance to make some decisions, and this allows the children to act independently and help them obtain self-confidence and self-esteem. This is important since in their adult life they will have the confidence to achieve their dreams.

Moreover, authoritative parenting seeks to encourage creative thinking instead of following the rules to avoid punishment. Children also obtain values that drive them to obey their parents out of respect but not because the rules say so.

If you are an authoritative parent, you will demand your children to follow some set rules, but at the same time, you will be responsive enough to understand their issues with the set rules and listen to their ideas.

For parents seeking to adopt this parenting style, there are numerous articles online that can guide you on how to effectively implementing it. You can get helpful information from a resourceful website such as Talking To Toddlers.

Finally, for you to become an authoritative parent you should; listen to your child, be consistent, provide opportunities for your children to make choices, set clear and fair expectations, praise positive behavior and criticize indecent conduct, discipline using choices and consequences and show your children that you care.

If there are other topics you would love to learn that are linked to parenting you can visit Talking To Toddlers and you will get various articles based on different topics on parenting.

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