It’s traumatizing and heartbreak to constantly feel like your child is ignoring you. You can be sure that there are hundreds of parents going through the same situation as you.
The one important thing to keep in mind when you realize that your child hardly listens is that he/she is in most of the cases not deliberately trying to drive you crazy. As a matter of fact, the behavior is mostly contributed by his/her sense of self rather than what they feel about you.
On the other hand, your child will spend most of the day focusing on the outside world and the exciting things going on in their lives that they develop selective deafness as a way of testing the limits of the own independence.
Basing the argument from the child’s perspective, your child spends all day dealing with pressures and following instructions at school and everything around them is demanding that they hardly have time to exercise their own choices.
Therefore, when they reach home, they finally get the opportunity to de-stress and will in most cases act like their parents are not around.
The Various Tips You Can Use to Discipline a Child Who Won’t Listen
Stop Adding Consequences
Although it may be tempting to add more punishments to a child who is stubborn and never seems to listen, in most cases, it’s never effective. Researches articulate that you can’t punish a child into better behavior.
By stalking punishments one after the other will only teach your child to “do time, ” or they will just go on to wait out for the punishments instead of following the rules.
If your child gets into his head that there are a whole bunch of punishments that he have to face, he may feel like he is in a hole that he will never get out and he will become more stubborn because he has accepted that nothing he does seem to work in his favor.
Avoid Information Overload
Your child’s brain has not developed to the extent where they can handle much information; hence avoid too much information and instructions all at ago.
Give instructions in simple sentences and try to break them down. Too much information may overwhelm your child, and you may also find it hard to remember the consequences you had set for a certain behavior.
Reward Good Listening Behaviors
Getting creative on ways to make your child to listen is essential even if it will get you to reward them anytime they get your instructions and do exactly what you ask them. This will encourage them to always be attentive. Make sure that the reward is something they love.
Set Reasonable Expectations
It is not surprising that some parents expect too much from a child which may be at times be beyond the child’s ability or age. It is acceptable for a child to be all hyped and messing all the things around him.
Expecting a child to be disciplined enough to not through tantrums when denied something they like is almost impossible. Thus, instead of punishing them for their behavior, you need to choose your battles right by avoiding situations where you will have to say ‘NO’ regularly
Give Your Full Attention
Sometimes children stop listening when they realize that they are also not being listened. Hence the next time your child tries to tell you something, get interested and listen. By so doing, your child will also see the importance of listening when another person is talking to them.
Try Gentle Physical Touch
If you yell instructions from upstairs of from the other room, the chances are that your child will not hear what you are trying to tell him. You should instead get to their level and don’t talk until you have acquired his attention.
Putting an arm around him or a gentle squeeze on their shoulder will make them look up and listen to what you are saying. Using both verbal and physical touch will guarantee their attention.
Try Being Friendly
Being coercive to your child will only make things worse and will create a negative energy. When giving demands in a harsh way, the thrill of doing the chore, however simple it is will be diminished, and you will end up feeling that your child is disrespecting you. Hence you should find a way to deliver your message in a firm yet friendly way.